Silver Tears
by Destany Mitchell
Summary: Wrote awhile ago on Takes place during seventh year at Hogwarts. Hermione and Ron are dating and they get into a fight, yada yada. I know this has been done before, but give it a shot, please? I'm a HHR shipper. You have been warned.


Silver Tears

I sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall at Hogwarts, sitting across from my best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. Ron and Hermione had began to date over the summer before our seventh year at Hogwarts. I found out when I saw them again after my three week stay at the Dursley's and I thought I'd be ok with it. My friends found happiness in each other during dark times and I know I should be happy for their new found happiness. But as I watched them, I envied them-more Ron than Hermione. See, I wanted to be him. I also had a hidden desire that I locked away in the back of my mind. I was also in love with Hermione Granger. It hit me like a ton of bricks this summer. I suddenly realized I had always been in love with her but I never knew what love was. I even loved her back when she had poofy hair that was uncontrollable as my own and large buck teeth. Despite these so called imperfects, she's always been perfect to me.  
I glanced away as Ron leaned over and planted a kiss on Hermione's lips. I couldn't watch him kissing the one girl I loved more than life itself. Hermione was the only person who looked at me and did not see the-boy-who-lived or the chosen one. She looked at me and saw Harry Potter. The boy who never knew his parents and lived with his aunt and uncle who could care less about him. Even Ron saw the fame before he saw me. The real me. I never really realized how much that meant to me until I began to think things over this last year. Ron and Hermione broke apart from their kiss. Hermione smiled at Ron lovingly and giggled slightly. Ron beamed back and I felt like I was going to throw up.  
I picked some more at the food that was on my plate. I didn't take much, because I wasn't feeling all that hungry, but the more displays my friends made, the more I lost my appetite for food.  
"Are you ok Harry?" Hermione asked me and I wondered briefly if this was the first time in four months that she really noticed me. I looked into her concerned soft brown eyes and I wanted to tell her everything. Confess my deepest secret of the past six years, but I knew I couldn't. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends' happiness for my own selfish reasons.  
"I'm fine." I said, and pushed my plate away. "I'm just not hungry."  
"Are you feeling ill mate?" Ron asked me. Hermione frowned and went to lay her hand on my forehead.  
"I'm fine." I snapped slightly, then felt bad that I snapped at her. I pushed my plate away from me, knowing it was useless to pretend I was eating it and left the Great Hall. I couldn't stay there with my friends making googley eyes at each other and calling each other pet names and all that romantic stuff. I wanted to be Ron, now more than ever before. I would trade anything to have had my parents with me as I grew up. Ron could be the boy who lived, he wanted to be; He's mesmerized by the fame I have received. He doesn't realize that I didn't want it. Never have, never would. Not if it meant I'd loose the love of my life.  
I realize now what kept me away from her originally was because I'm the boy who lived. I'm the one Voldemort wants dead more than anyone in the wizarding world. I know he'd kill those closest to me and the only way to protect my love and my friend was to distance myself. So I did, and now…now it's more painful that I thought it ever could be. I didn't know that I would loose her, maybe forever.  
I stormed through the portrait hole to the Gryffindor tower, muttering the password, "Snarkleskins", under my breath. I went up to my dormitory and went through my trunk. I found my invisibility cloak and put it on. I left the dorm and went through the portrait hole again, and made my way up to the owlry. I wanted to be alone. I needed to think. I needed to be away from everyone, but most of all, I needed her.  
Once I made it to the Owlry, Hedwig flew down to me with a hoot of greeting once I lifted the invisibility cloak.  
"Sorry girl, I don't have anything for you." I said, stroking her soft feathers. "Oh Hedwig, I messed up." I said, feeling devastated. My mind traveled to what Hermione and Ron where doing right now. I could picture them in a closet or empty classroom somewhere in the castle, snogging each other senseless. I shook my head, wishing the images away. I wanted nothing more than to be the one that Hermione would snog in a closet with. I didn't want to feel this jealousy that was plaguing my relationship with my best friends, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help the way that I felt.  
I stayed in the owlry, contemplating what I should do and just stroking Hedwig's feathers from my seat in the large window that overlooked the grounds from Hogwarts. Had I not have had anything on my mind, I might have noticed the beauty out the window. The sun was down leaving the grounds dark and mysterious. The trees to the forbidden forest were barely visible in the lack of light. There were no clouds in the sky so I could see every star in the sky, without having to map it for Divination or Astronomy. The lights in Hagrid's hut were the only light coming from the grounds.   
Some time later, I put my cloak back on and snuck back into the dormitories. What I heard and saw tore my heart into pieces. Sitting by the fire with her back to me, sat Hermione. Her head in her hands and her elbows propped on her knees, choking sobs escaping her throat.  
"Hermione?" She gasped and looked up at me. She had tears running down her cheeks and she sniffed as her soft brown eyes filled up with fresh tears. Her eyes were red and puffy, the same with her face from crying. Her eyes held a desperation that I have never seen on anyone before now. All I wanted to do was to kiss away her tears and make it better; but I knew she didn't want me to. She only wanted me as a friend and I would swallow my hurt pride and be there for her. I'd rather be her friend and confidant than to be nothing to her. That would be unbearable to me.  
"Oh Harry," She said, and let out another sob. I crossed the common room quicker than I ever could. I knelt down before her and looked her in the eyes, trying not to cry myself. I did not want to see her cry. Ever. It hurt me more than anything to see her like this and I swore that I would avenge her.  
"Hermione, what's wrong?" I asked her, wanting nothing better than to take her pain away and make it all better.  
"It…It's so…everything is so…" She sobbed again and more tears streamed down her face. She took a shaky breathe and continued "messed up."  
"What's messed up?" I asked, hoping she could talk to me, tell me what her problems were so I could fix them.  
"Ron and I…we…we…h-h-had…" More tears streamed down her face and I felt my heart fall.  
"Did you fight again?" I asked and She nodded her head and sobbed once more. I couldn't help but feel triumphant. I knew a relationship where you fought all the time could not lead to anything long term. "Hermione…you guys fight all the time…" I pointed out, wondering what made this one so different. She sniffed and took another shaky breathe.  
"It got so out of control…I didn't…I don't know why he…"  
"Hermione, if you don't want to talk about it.."  
"NO! I have to!" She said, so strongly that she scared me. She was stumbling over her words moments before, but she found the strength to tell me she needed to do this, no matter how painful it was to her to relive her fight. I sat there, staring in her eyes, wondering what I could do to make her feel better. I never felt so useless in my life.  
"When you left…I told Ron we should…we should…" She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes. "I feel so stupid. I shouldn't be crying over him."  
"You love him." I said simply. I know I'd be crying over her if she wasn't already crying at the moment.  
"We we…b-b-broke up." She said, and sniffed again.  
"WHAT?!" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. I was going to kill Ron. He was the reason Hermione was in pain. I'd make sure he was feeling the same thing he made her feel.   
"Harry no!" Hermione said, I sat down and she patted the seat next to her. She would not look me in the eyes, but she found her voice and began to tell me what happened. "When you left, I was worried about you. I told Ron we should go after you to make sure you were ok. We are your friends after all. I told him We should have been paying more attention. Anyway, Ron said no, we should just let you go. I started to go after you, but Ron grabbed my arm, rather roughly."  
I seethed inside. I wanted to hit Ron. I never felt like this before and it scared me.  
"I told him to let go of me and he said no. That I was his girl and I shouldn't be worrying about another guy." My eyes widened. Another guy! Another guy! I was his best friend for Merlin's sake!  
"I'm flattered Hermione, but you didn't have to"  
"I'm not done yet. I told Ron that was rude to say about his best friend. He yelled at me again and I told him if we were going to have a row, let's do it in private instead of in the Great Hall in front of everyone. He grabbed me again around the wrist and dragged me into an empty classroom. We kept arguing whether or not it was right of me to go after you or not. Friendship or no, Ron said I shouldn't concern myself with you and I told Ron he was being a prick. And he…he…" She began to cry again and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She turned towards me and wrapped her arms around me as she cried into my chest. I stroked her hair with one hand and began to rub comforting circles on her back. I moved that hand to her arm and down to her wrist when she winced and gasped in pain. She pulled away from me and I stared into her eyes. She looked away as I grabbed her hand, gently as I could, and pulled her sleeve of her robes up to reveal bruises that would be a perfect fit for Ron's hand.  
I took a deep breath and felt my jaw clench. I never felt so much hatred towards someone; not even Malfoy or Voldemort could compete.  
"Did he do this to you?!" I demanded. She nodded. I shook my head and felt my anger grow. I was seething. Had I been a tea kettle on the stove, I'd be whistling right now.  
She took her hand away from mine and moved her hair from her face that was obscuring her left cheek. She brushed it away and turned to me. What was there broke my heart into a million pieces. Her perfect cheek was now black and blue and swollen. "Hermione." I whispered and reached my hand over to her cheek and gently ran my fingers over it. She flinched slightly but let me inspect it, my heart breaking and breaking into halves, quarters, eighths, sixteenths, thirty-sixths, sixty-fourths and so on until it was a bunch of dust. She sniffed and I removed my hand, searching her eyes. I would never do this to you, I thought.  
Her eyes widened, and time seemed to stop. It was then that I realized I had whispered those thoughts to her.  
"I didn't.." I stammered, but gave up and looked away from her, feeling ashamed of myself. I should not be voicing my feelings for her. Not now, not like this. I felt her hand go to my chin and I turned to look at her, I felt ashamed and her eyes studied mine, perhaps looking for something she had never seen before or maybe it was wishful thinking on my part.  
"Harry…" She said, softly. I looked away.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I said, gazing into the fire, wondering briefly if it ever actually went out.  
"I love you too." She said, so silently I thought at first I must have heard what I wanted to hear. I turned to face her, now my eyes were searching hers. She had a small smile on her face, that looked slightly like a grimace, because of her bruised cheek, but she was still beautiful to me. The fire in the fire place cast a glow around her hair that made her look angelic. At that moment, I swore she was more beautiful than she ever was, even if she was sporting marks from Ron's fist.  
"I love you Hermione." I said, as strongly as I had always thought I would say it.  
"Oh Harry, why didn't you tell me sooner?" She asked. I paused.  
"Because, the timing was never right and…"   
"And…?"  
"And you're safer if you're not close to me." I finished, softly.  
"I think I'm safer with you, Harry." She said, referring to her earlier ordeal. I looked at her and felt like I was going to cry. Ron hit her because of me. I was the reason she was sporting two nasty bruises.  
"I'm sorry."   
"I'm not." She said, and we said nothing, just stared into each other's eyes, getting lost in the depths of emotion.  
Time seemed to stop again. The longer I stared into her eyes, the less and less the outside world mattered to me. I felt myself being pulled to her, like two magnets. It felt so right so natural that I had to kiss her. That moment was the perfect moment.  
Her velvet lips touched mine and I knew I could die a happy man. I would never forget that moment, not as long as I lived or even in my after life.  
I will always remember that night in the common room as the night we realized our true feelings for each other. The night of our first kiss and at that time, nothing else mattered to us than each other, and that's how it should have always been.


End file.
